Dropping My Baggage

So I am almost positive that I am going to finally kick off the year right and do it for more than 2 weeks. Well, I am gonna give the old college try. I am going to party like it's 2009 tomorrow night and I am going to put on my big girl panties at midnight and try it agin. I am beginning to feel so left out. My two best friends are beginning new relationships. Neither one is desperate, but because they keep trying they keep meeting really great people...I have to try. I know I have 18 months of grad school and a child going to college and another child's senior year and his college and all those adjustments and what ever comes next~but it still lacks something. So let's see where 2010 takes us, OK?

I got to do some really great stuff this weekend...and people took pictures of it. Damn but I hate pictures of myself. I am fat and old and ugly and it just SUCKS! I do all this fun stuff with awesome people and I want no record of it because I cannot stand to see myself. Yes, I know I can fix that, but what do I do in the mean time? well, I smile and act like it doesn't bother me, but it does. If I do get off my ass and begin to fix this situation, the picture of me and the rock star will always have a large woman with fuzzy gray hair in it ...and I don't know who she is...why is she in my picture with the rock star and why does she keep following me?